


Arizona

by mm8



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/M, Road Trips, at least for me it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-24
Updated: 2008-05-24
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm8/pseuds/mm8
Summary: Harry and Hermione are lost on an Arizona highway when nature calls.





	Arizona

Hermione pulled back her long sticky hair with the hope that it would make her feel cooler, but it had little effect. She watched through her sunglasses as Harry struggled with an Arizona state map. They had decided to take a month long break to travel around the United States. They thought it would be an added treat to travel by car since Harry had never really had a family vacation. However, they had completely lost their way in the vast Arizona desert without any sign of human life for a distance. Harry traced a finger along the highways on the map trying to figure out when and how they had gotten lost. He occasionally took out the pencil that was between his teeth to mark a spot on the map.

“Do you have any clue which route we are on?” Harry exhaled.

Hermione shrugged. “I’m not sure. We went by the sign so fast.”

“I guess we should just drive back until we see something familiar,” Harry said as he raked a hand through his dark hair. The engine of the rented Geo came to life andthey made a U-turn to travel once again on the long stretch of road. 

An hour later they were still completely lost. Harry drummed his finger tips along to the beat of an Oasis song. Hermione was currently jiggling her leg. Before, she had cracked her knuckles and tapped her feet, impatient for something. Without warning, she threw her arm out, across Harry's chest. The sudden pain made him skid to a halt and ask, "What the fuck was that for, Hermione?"

The busy brown haired woman chewed on her lower lip as she cracked her knuckles again. "Erm…" She blushed.

Harry quirked an eyebrow. "Just tell me."

"Ihavetogotothebathroom". She replied at supersonic speed, which Harry asked her to repeat. She answered again at the same speed.

"Hermione, slow down! I can't understand a word you are saying."

She pulled her sunglasses off and inched toward Harry with every word. "I. Have. To. Go. To. The. Bathroom." 

Harry chuckled. "That's all?"

Hermione grimaced. "Not that is not all!" As she spoke she gestured wildly with her arms. "Of course it's not all! Where am I going to go Harry? We're in the middle of a bloody desert! There's nowhere to go!" She paused. "What's that for?"

Harry had dug through the back seat and produced an empty can of Coca-Cola before replying, "It's for you to piss in."

"What!?" Hermione yelled. "I am not pissing in a Coke can!" 

"Why not?"

Hermione flared. "Why not? Because it's so cliché and disgusting!" She paused. "Hey, wait a minute. How did you know I had to pee?"

Harry smiled. "For some reason you get nervous when you have to pee. You crack your knuckles and jiggle your leg, you only do that when you have to piss. I dunno why you don't do it when you have to do a number two..."

She was awed. "You keep track of all that?"

He was confused. "Keep track of what?"

"Of my quirks."

"Oh that." He waved at her like it was nothing. "Of course I do. Are you going to piss in the can or not?"

"No, I will not. I want to keep my dignity." She got out of the car and slammed the door and strutted away. Curious, Harry exited the car and started to follow her. "Where are you going?"

Hermione turned back to look at him. "I am going to pee." She continued to walk.

"Where?"

Annoyed she turned back again. "I am going to pee behind a cactus."

"And that's better than pissing in a Coke can?"

Without turning around she yelled back "Hell yes!"

Harry laughed hysterically as he sat on the hood of the car, waiting for her to return. Ten minutes later he spotted her walking back. He didn't move until she was standing in front of him. He smiled as he asked, "How was your pee?"

She placed her delicate hands on her curvy hips. "It was a lot better than if I had pissed in a soda can." She leaned in and kissed Harry gently. "Come on, let's keep going."

They climbed back into the car and heading off into the sunset.


End file.
